If your friends have ever suggested to you or if you have ever been honest enough with yourself that your driving could be best described as “assertive,” “determined,” “rushed,” “pre-occupied,” “not-risk-averse,” or you are perhaps “one-who-makes-dubious-choices,” then you need to come and drive in Italy. Scratches on cars are worn like a badge of honor as was clear when we picked up our rental to find several blemishes but not one marked on the rental form. I have learned that in fact these are not scratches, dings, dents, or blemishes but rather proof that you are a worthy competitor.
A few days ago I had to fill out a survey for a job and one of the questions was whether I considered myself a risky driver. Had I taken this questionnaire in Jackson I am sure my answer would have been quite different but as I judged myself against my peers in Puglia I felt comfortable with my conclusion.
I am convinced that the driver’s test here has a catagory for “most creative move” and that this heavily out weighs other catagories like “check mirrors,” or “indicate before turning,” or “just indicate please.” The net result is that everybody is ready for anything and nothing phases anybody. This is a treat! Slight dodgy u-turn on a main road, not a problem. Backing up a one way street, people give way. Entering a gas station the wrong way and no one hits their horn. I have found my people and I am overwhelmed with a sense of belonging.
This apparent “choose your own adventure” approach to driving goes beyond the everyday traffic etiquette and brilliantly seeps into “parking.” This word “parking” is to be used with a latitude that cannot be over exaggerated. From Ostuni to Bari, streets are aligned with spaces of perfect length, in places of great convenience where parking is inexpensive and always accessible. Despite the Italian authorities having put good work into this infrastructure it seems to be reserved for the gullible tourist who will actually park in said space AND pay. If you are a local you see these spaces and understand and what they are. A mere gap where one can place any part of one’s car and leave…..as long as you have your hazard lights on.
I am prepared to admit that I consider myself an exceptional parallel parker. I think much of this has to do with comparing myself to my American friends who will agree that the last time they paralleled parked was in driver’s ed. No one knows how to do it and it is a skill learned just to pass one’s test.
We arrive in Ostuni and we find a space barely big enough to squeeze into. After much back and forth I was in. As I sat there admiring my handiwork and contemplating instagraming the occasion, a local lad pulls up into a space two cars ahead of me.
Curious to see the local talent I watched. To my disappointment he did not reverse in one fair swoop or do a hand break turn a la Italian Job but rather stuck the noes of his car in the vacant spot leaving his vehicule at a 45 degree angle with the rear of the car sticking out into the road. He got out of his to inspect his work when he something clearly dawned on him. Assuming he must have double guessed himself and was about to repark a la driver’s ed, I was somewhat taken aback when I saw him get back into his car, put on his hazard lights, walk around his car to check all four lights were working and walk into the cafe across the road. Where in any other country one’s hazard lights are a universal sign for distress, in Italy it means “just grabbing a coffee….l’ll be right back”
Express yourself through your driving. There’s no judgement here.